One of the most powerful things you can do is to let go of something that no longer serves you well.
Recently, Jane sent me a beautiful testimonial. She used a Boyfriend Bonfire Box (BFBF) to create a powerful ritual to rise up after her marriage of 25 years ended. And, she invited six girlfriends to participate in it.
The bonfire portion of a BFBF is a cleansing act and what rises up from the ashes is an opportunity for one to be moving forward – fresh and anew.
For Jane, the ritual gave her an opportunity to reflect on her marriage and turn to ash that which she would no longer be a part of.
I invite you to read about her ritual. Perhaps, it’ll inspire you to create one of your own.
Jane’s ritual for letting go, saying goodbye, and moving forward following her divorce:
- (Read aloud) This ritual is about love. My message remains constant. I started my marriage with love and I choose to leave it with love. This ritual is an act of releasing my relationship with John, acknowledging all of the gifts I gave myself during my marriage and moving forward on to my new path.
- (Read aloud) Fire ceremonies throughout time and across cultures begin with the offering of something sweet and fragrant. Sage is used to clear negative thoughts and energies and to restore self-esteem. As the sage smolders, breathe deeply to release from your body, mind and spirit, any negative thoughts related to John and our marriage. Burn sage leaves. Breathe.
- Ask for words of love, support and encouragement from the girls. Use talking stick brought by my friend. (Metal votive holder with candle of 6 girls holding hands.)
- Read “thank you to me” letter. Say aloud “I read this to you, my special sisters, who understand its significance”.
- Read the story of Jane and John.
- Write my “what I’m happy to let go of’s” on separate pieces of paper. Pass around to the girls. During bonfire throw each one into the fire as you read them aloud.
- Read aloud “calling all of the pieces of me back home” as if I’m on a circular stage (seated as such around the bonfire). Ask the girls to share something they’d like me to call back.
- Thank you’s. Read aloud who you thank for their love, compassion, and counsel during this difficult time.
- Burn the wedding photo of John and me sitting at the head table. See how much love and hope are in our faces. Read aloud the release mantra. “I am releasing the one that I loved, John, without releasing the love that I am, so that I can move forward on my own path. I release all attachments and limitations of John, so that I may move forward on my own path.” Repeat.
- Hand out flying wish paper and colored pens. Say aloud, “The bonfire ritual is about the past. Flying wish paper helps connect to my new happiness, my new future.” Have everyone write down on the flying paper wishes for all of our futures. Light them and watch them fly up and away.
- Describe the meaning of the seed paper. Cut into 6 pieces and hand one to each of the girls. Each girl will write an attribute on it that they want to give energy to in the future. Then, they’ll plant the seed paper, give it love and care, and watch it grow. Hand out seed paper.
- Read release again to close the ceremony.
- Eat, drink, dance and celebrate!!