The simplest explanation of the universal law of attraction is that like attracts like. The basic premise is that you draw to yourself that which matches you. At some point in your life, you and your boyfriend were a match. As the relationship evolved, there was a shift or a change. Neither one of you may have been aware of it, but something changed.
Shift happens. And, now you’re no longer a match.
There are thousands of ways either of you could have shifted to cause a change in your relationship. Perhaps there was a shift in a belief, a way of being, values, sensibilities, personal goals, or maybe what he desired in a permanent relationship started to differ from what you wanted.
Each relationship, regardless of its outcome, has a purpose. If it was what I call a precursor relationship, one that doesn’t have permanence in its energy, its purpose may be to help you discover what it is that you desire, or do not desire, in a partner. Other times it can be a way for you to learn more about yourself and others. Regardless of the purpose, you drew it to yourself for a reason. Even if it’s not obvious, that purpose can be revealed if you’re open to admitting the truth about the relationship to yourself.
During a breakup and the transition that follows it, your own story, in your own words and in your own understanding of it, is the most important story for you to hear. Whenever we experience a break-up, a trauma, or a loss in our life, we may experience many different emotions all at the same time and that can cause use to feel overwhelmed and confused.
I’m going to make it about me for a minute. I was a poster child for co-dependency and it took me a long, long time to break that pattern. Over time, I gradually figured out that I was spending too much time in other people’s stories while completely overlooking my own. I was overly concerned about other people’s feelings or trying to figure out why they did what they did or what they thought about what I did. I realized that when I ignored my own story, it was easy for me to get confused and be drawn into other people’s stories and their assorted dramas.
I discovered that when I stayed in my own story, I was able to figure out what role I played in a particular situation and that helped me to clearly see other people’s roles as well. Once I understood the roles that were played, I could admit the truth about the relationship to myself and that freed me from it once and for all. Consequently, staying in my own story helped me move away from the drama and chaos I was accustomed to.
Staying in your story can help you to sort through the mess of emotions you may be feeling. Your ideas and opinions of yourself are far more important than that of anyone else. When you focus on and stay in your own story, you can consciously begin to clear any internal confusion. And, you can begin to stand in and rock your power again.
I’d love to hear how you have been able to stay in your own story during a breakup. Please share your thoughts below!